Save My Military Marriage

As Military Divorces Increase, How Can We Save the Marriage?

Imagine if all the effort and time spent focusing on 2013 USFSPA proposals was instead spent to save the military marriage.

Why is there a proposal for mandatory USFSPA briefings during inprocessing?

Can you imagine arriving to a base and hearing, “Welcome. We are so pleased to have you here. As part of your inprocessing, let me tell you what happens if you get divorced.”

Servicemembers and military spouses will think, “What’s wrong here that I might get a divorce? Should we have relocated somewhere else?”

A better proposal would be to require briefings on how to have a successful military marriage.

“Welcome to our base. Wait till you hear about our outstanding programs for couples.”

Isn’t this a better way to avoid the controversial impact of the USFSPA? Let’s save the military marriage.

Keeping Relationships Strong – The Strain of Military Marriage

During the past years, the topic of military divorce has repeatedly made the headlines and highlighted attemps to save the military marriage.

See this 2010 Military Divorce Report:

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Change for 2012: New Reports on the Military Divorce Rate

In 2013, Pentagon statistics reported that the military divorce rate decreased in 2012 to 3.5 percent. This is a step in the right direction. Amy Bushatz, a journalist for Marriage, Spouse, & Family News on wrote about military divorce statistics and possible misperceptions.

If we break the divorce rate down by category we see enlisted female soldiers are set at 9.4%. Bushatz also discusses how one’s tendency when faced with a challenge is to believe everyone has this challenge, but in reality the percentage of 3.5 is not very high.

Nevertheless, the more marriages saved the better. This avoids the USFSPA and other divorce challenges.

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Tips to Save the Military Marriage

We often hear the obvious tips to help save the military marriage:

  • Obtain counseling, possibly religious counseling
  • Talk to other spouses and service members committed to marriage
  • Read books on strengthening your marriage
  • Try to have a date night once a week or once a month
  • Take a break – sometimes a separated break; go out with other friends or a reunion weekend with old friends

These are tips that we frequently hear, but what unique things have worked for couples you know?

Block the Road to Divorce

Make an agreement that divorce is not an option. Look at divorce like a blocked road. Force yourself to look for a new path. What can you do to make it work?

In doing so, you will avoid the USFSPA and keep control of your financial life.

Books for a Successful Military Marriage

Instead of focusing on what can go wrong, perhaps we should be giving required briefings on how to have a successful marriage. Isn’t that a better way, that’s another way to avoid the impact of the USFSPA.